“You sure you’re okay?” I ask as the giants stop trying to hit each other and start smashing the ground again—because apparently, they haven’t figured out that we’re already gone.
Hudson was right. There’s absolutely no way it’s okay to die by these two bumbling assholes. My mate gives me a cocky grin, because he might be down, but Hudson Vega doesn’t know the meaning of out. Then he says, “Don’t worry, I’m good. I got this, love.” And there’s something about the way he says it, something about his total willingness to just trust that I know what I’m talking about, that gets me right in the feels. Well, that and the way he called me “love,” the way it rolled right off his tongue and sounded so freaking perfect. And just like that, I know. I love Jaxon—a part of me will always love Jaxon. How could I not, when I’m one of the lucky ones? My first love is a really great guy, and we found each other when I was lost and alone and needed him most. But that girl? The Grace who was wildly in love with him and whom he wildly loved? She’s gone and has been for a while. That girl was scared and lonely and naive. She needed protecting. More, she wanted protecting as much as he wanted to protect her. But that’s kind of how young love is, isn’t it? It’s idealistic and explosive and perfect…until it’s not anymore. Until it blows up or fades away or you just move on. I moved on during those three and a half months I don’t remember. I changed, and Jaxon didn’t. It’s nobody’s fault. It’s simply how it is. And I know that in the end, it’s all going to be okay. That Jaxon and I are going to have a wonderful life together once we manage to get the Crown and our mating bond is restored. He will be fine, his soul no longer in tatters, and we’ll be good for each other. He’ll learn to respect me more as an equal, and I’ll learn to let him take care of the small things that don’t matter so much. He’s an amazing guy, and we’ll be amazing rulers together. I take a deep breath, then blow it out as slowly as I can manage. Because it’s pointless to be sad. It’s pointless to want something more when I already have so much. It’s pointless to regret what has to be—especially when what has to be saves someone you love. But the truth is, I want Hudson. I love Hudson. I think I have from the moment I walked onto that Ludares practice field and saw him reading No Exit. He was pouting because I’d gone to see Jaxon—I didn’t know it at the time, of course—so when he teased me about my undies, I was easy pickings. But right from the beginning, things have been different with Hudson. He saw every part of me, even the parts I’m not proud of. He took me on my good days and teased me out of my bad moods on my most obnoxious days, and he loved me through it all. He believed in me through it all. He protects me—of course he does—but he does it so differently from Jaxon. He pushes me, believes in me, wants me to be the strongest and best that I can be. He’s got my back—he’ll always have my back—but he likes me to be powerful, too. He likes me to stand on my own. He likes the kick-ass gargoyle as much as he likes the not quite so kick-ass human. He’s smart and funny and sarcastic and sweet and strong and kind and hot. He’s everything I could ever ask for in a guy, everything I could ever want, all rolled into one unbelievably sexy package. And I’ve never told him. Not even when he told me. I just shoved it down, refused to acknowledge it, never even admitted it to myself. And now we’re stuck in this arena, and I can make all the disparaging comments about giants that I want, but we both know if we make one wrong move—if we’re off by one second—then we’re totally screwed. There would be no Crown, no emotional declarations, nothing but pain, death, loss. And that’s not fair—to either of us. I can’t risk what we have to risk here, can’t go on to the rest of our lives, and not let him know how I feel. He starts to move past me—to get ready to run—but I grab on to his wrist. Rest my trembling hand against his beautiful, beloved face. And say the only thing worth saying at a time like this. The only thing worth saying to a man like this. “I love you.” For one second, he looks startled, his blue eyes going wide and wild as they search my face for I don’t know what. But then that damn dimple of his comes out to play as he grins and grins and grins. But all he says is, “I know.” “Seriously? You’re going to be Han fucking Solo right now?” I ask, even though I have to bite the inside of my cheek to stop myself from laughing. Because, oh my God, do I love this man. “Excuse me.” Both brows go up at the insult. “But there’s never a bad time to be Han fucking Solo. Besides—” He grins. “I did know all along. I was just waiting for you to catch up.” “Yeah, well, I’m all caught up,” I tell him as I lean in and kiss him one more time. “Now, let’s do this thing, shall we? I’m more than ready to get the hell out of this place.” He reaches for me, but I take off running, yelling and clapping and making as much noise as I possibly can to make sure Big and Bigger follow me. And it works. Mazur comes running straight for me like he’s on fire and I’m the only hydrant around. I wave, then blow him a little kiss to piss him off. But when I turn around to do the same to Ephes, I realize that we’ve got a problem. Because he is headed straight for Hudson with an intensity that says nothing, and no one, is going to get in his way. 144