He is the one who can save us. He is the one who can bring all of this to an end. But at the same time, what will it cost him to do it?
Everyone is afraid of him, of what he can do. But that’s only because they don’t know how much he hates his powers. How he would trade them in an instant. I saw his eyes in the Chamber, saw how tortured he was by what he’d done and what he could do. He’s used his powers only once in all the time I’ve known him—the day of the Ludares challenge. And even then, even furious at his father and enraged at the idea of me dying, he’d made sure everyone was safe. Made sure that when he brought that stadium down, no one was inside it. But here, now, it’s the opposite. If he uses his powers—if he takes off the leash he keeps tied so tightly around them—it would be the nuclear option. He doesn’t say a word, but he looks at me with eyes that have seen too much and a heart that has been broken too many times to bear. At first, I think he’s asking for my permission, but the longer I gaze back at him, the more I know that that’s not it at all. He’s seeking forgiveness, not for the past but for what he’s already decided to do. Not because he’s a murderer like his father or an opportunist like his mother but because he loves the people who might very well die in this fight if he doesn’t stop it. Jaxon. Macy. The rest of our friends. Me. That’s the real rub, the one thing he could not bear. It’s written all over his face—he would disintegrate anyone—everyone—if it means saving me. He would literally set fire to the world. The girl I used to be, the girl who once judged him so harshly, would be horrified by that thought. But the woman I’ve become—the woman who has fought alongside him for her friends, for her family, and for the men she loves understands more than he would ever think she could. Because I would burn down the world for him, too, if I had to. And so I do the only thing I can do for him. I nod. He closes his eyes, blows out a breath. He opens his eyes again and holds me transfixed. Then murmurs, “I love you.” I smile, because I know what he means. I know that he loves me, not because I forgive him but because I gave him permission to forgive himself. For someone who has spent two centuries torturing himself over things that he’s done and things that he hasn’t done, it’s a powerful gift. I whisper back, “I know,” and his eyes crinkle slightly at the corners at our inside joke. Then he closes his eyes…and lets me go. He squares his shoulders, prepares himself for what he has to do. And even though it could very well crush his soul, he’s going to save us all. He’s going to go out there and be the person he needs to be. Not for me. Because of me. The same way he makes me want to be the best version of myself because of him. And that’s why I know what I have to do. I can’t break our bond just because Jaxon needs me. Yes, I hate the idea of him suffering for something that wasn’t his fault, for losing his soul over something he never had any control over. But we’ll find another way. Because this beautiful boy standing in front of me has never asked anything of me for himself. And he deserves the best of me now. Just as I deserve the boy I love. I reach deep inside myself and grab on to our blue string. I squeeze it as hard as I can and watch Hudson’s eyes widen. And I say, “I choose you.” I can see the indecision on his face, read it in his every breath. A beautiful symphony of agony and ecstasy playing across his features. He wants me, but not at the cost of killing his brother. And I love him even more for that. “It’s okay.” I smile at him gently. “I chose so you don’t have to. Now go kick some ass so I can focus on Flint and then come back to me where you belong. We’ll find another way to save Jaxon’s soul. If Cyrus wants the Crown this badly, I’m betting fixing a soul is the least it can do.” Hudson’s face goes blank for one second, two, and I start to ask him what’s wrong. But then I realize it’s not blank at all. There are tears in his eyes, and he’s trying not to let them fall before he heads out to deliver the ass-kicking Cyrus and his allies so richly deserve. Before he turns away, he squeezes the mating bond right back and finally opens himself up to me. And oh, what I see—as he reveals what’s really inside him—I learn what I’ve been missing. Learn that my fears have been groundless. Because for me, Hudson’s love is endless. 155