Ships were small. Space was always at a premium, and even on a monster like the Donnager, the corridors and compartments were cramped and uncomfortable. On the Rocinante, the only rooms where Holden could spread out his arms without touching two walls were the galley and the cargo bay. No one who flew for a living was claustrophobic, but even the most hardened Belt prospector could recognize the rising tension of being ship-bound. It was the ancient stress response of the trapped animal, the subconscious knowledge that there was literally nowhere to go that you couldn't see from where you were already standing. Getting off the ship at port was a sudden and sometimes giddying release of tension.
It often took the form of a drinking game.
Like all professional sailors, Holden had sometimes ended long flights by drinking himself into a stupor. More than once he'd wandered into a brothel and left only when they threw him out with an emptied account, a sore groin, and a prostate as dry as the Sahara desert. So when Amos staggered into his room after three days on station, Holden knew exactly what the big mechanic felt like.
Holden and Alex were sharing the couch and watching a newsfeed. Two talking heads were discussing the Belter actions with words like criminal, terrorist, and sabotage. The Martians were "peacekeepers." It was a Martian news channel. Amos snorted and collapsed on the couch. Holden muted the screen.
"Having a good shore leave, sailor?" Holden asked with a grin.
"I'll never drink again," Amos groaned.
"Naomi's comin' over with some chow she got at that sushi place," Alex said. "Nice raw fish wrapped in fake seaweed."
Amos groaned again.
"That's not nice, Alex," Holden said. "Let the man's liver die in peace."
The door to the suite slid open again, and Naomi came in carrying a tall stack of white boxes.
"Food's here," she said.
Alex opened all the boxes and started handing around small disposable plates.
"Every time it's your turn to get food, you get salmon rolls. It shows a lack of imagination," Holden said as he began putting food on his plate.
"I like salmon," Naomi replied.
The room got quiet as people ate; the only sounds were the clack of plastic chopsticks and the wet squish of things being dipped in wasabi and soy. When the food was gone, Holden wiped his eyes, made runny by the heat in his sinuses, and leaned his chair all the way back. Amos used one of his chopsticks to scratch under the cast on his leg.
"You guys did a pretty good job setting this," he said. "It's the thing on my body that hurts the least right now."
Naomi grabbed the remote off Holden's armrest and turned the volume back on. She began spooling through the different feeds. Alex closed his eyes and slid down on the loveseat, lacing his fingers across his belly and sighing contentedly. Holden felt a sudden and irrational annoyance at his crew for being so comfortable.
"Everyone had enough of sucking on Fred's teat yet?" he said. "I know I have."
"What the fuck are you talking about?" Amos said, shaking his head. "I'm just getting started."
"I mean," Holden said, "how long are we going to hang around on Tycho, drinking and whoring and eating sushi on Fred's expense account?"
"As long as I can?" Alex said.
"You have a better plan, then," Naomi said.
"I don't have a plan, but I want to get back in the game. We were full of righteous anger and dreams of vengeance when we got here, and a couple of blowjobs and hangovers later, it's like nothing ever happened."
"Uh, vengeance kinda requires someone to avenge upon, Cap," Alex said. "Case you ain't noticed, we're lackin' in that department."
"That ship is still out there, somewhere. The people who ordered it to shoot are, too," Holden said.
"So," Alex replied slowly, "we take off and start flyin' in a spiral until we run into it?"
Naomi laughed and threw a soy packet at him.
"I don't know what we do," Holden said, "but sitting here while the people who killed our ship keep doing whatever it is they're doing is making me nuts."
"We've been here three days," Naomi said. "We deserve some comfortable beds and decent food and a chance to blow off steam. Don't try to make us feel bad for taking it."
"Besides, Fred said we'll get those bastards at the trial," Amos said.
"If there's a trial," Holden replied. "If. It won't happen for months, or maybe even years. And even then, Fred's looking at those treaties. Amnesty might be another bargaining chip, right?"
"You were quick enough to agree to his terms, Jim," Naomi said. "Changed your mind?"
"If Fred wants depositions in exchange for letting us patch up and rest, the price was cheap. That doesn't mean I think a trial will fix everything, or that I want to be sidelined until it happens."
He gestured at the faux-leather couch and huge wall screen around them.
"Besides, this can be a prison. It's a nice one, but as long as Fred controls the purse strings, he owns us. Make no mistake."
Naomi's brow crinkled; her eyes grew serious.
"What's the option, sir?" she asked. "Leave?"
Holden folded his arms, his mind turning over everything he'd said as if he was hearing it for the first time. Saying things out loud actually made them clearer.
"I'm thinking we look for work," he said. "We've got a good ship. More importantly, we have a sneaky ship. It's fast. We can run without a transponder if we need to. Lots of people will need things moved from place to place with a war on. Gives us something to do while we wait for Fred's trial, and a way to put money in our pockets so we can get off the dole. And, as we fly from place to place, we can keep our ears and eyes open. Never know what we'll find. And seriously, how long can you three stand to be station rats?"
There was a moment's silence.
"I could station rat for another... week?" Amos said.
"It ain't a bad idea, Cap," Alex said with a nod.
"It's your decision, Captain," Naomi said. "I'll stick with you, and I like the idea of getting my own money again. But I hope you're not in a hurry. I could really use a few more days off."
Holden clapped his hands and jumped to his feet.
"Nope," he said. "Having a plan makes all the difference. Downtime's easier to enjoy when I know it'll end."
Alex and Amos got up together and headed for the door. Alex had won a few dollars playing darts, and now he and Amos were in the process of turning it into even more money at the card tables.
"Don't wait up, Boss," Amos said to Naomi. "I'm feeling lucky today."
They left, and Holden went to the small kitchen nook to make coffee. Naomi followed him in.
"One other thing," she said.
Holden tore open the sealed coffee packet, the strong odor filling the room.
"Shoot," he said.
"Fred is taking care of all the arrangements for Kelly's body. He'll hold it here in state until we go public with our survival. Then he'll ship it back to Mars."
Holden filled the coffeemaker with water from the tap and started the machine. It made soft gurgling sounds.
"Good. Lieutenant Kelly deserves all the respect and dignity we can give him."
"It got me thinking about that data cube he had. I haven't been able to hack it. It's some kind of military
54
